Unkind Words

A woman spoke in our stake conference today. She told of an experience her 14 year old daughter had at school. She came home from school crying. Each student had been given an assignment to speak for four minutes on a topic of their choice. One girl brought her four year old sister to class to be part of her speech. You could see the little girl loved her big sister and was so excited to be part of her school day. She was happy to be involved with all the older kids. She smiled and looked at her big sister with such adoration.

The big sister took the little girl to the front of the class, and boosted her up on a stool. The little girl sat there beaming.

Then the older sister started her speech. She began a four minute tirade of negativity toward her little sister. She told how she was bratty, hung around when her friends were around, annoying, ate too much, was fat (not true). She went on and on. As she spoke the little girl’s adoring smile melted into misery. The woman’s daughter was devastated, in agony herself as she watched this take place. Her heart ached for this little girl who loved her big sister so much.

The stake conference speaker could not get through this part of her talk without crying. She cried as she told how devastated her daughter was as she sat and watched this unfold at the front of her class. She cried as she described her daughter sitting in the kitchen trying to understand what had happened. She cried as she asked us, the congregation, to consider what we say to others. Do we speak nastily to those who irritate us at work? Do we speak unkindly in jest? Do we speak negatively about or to anyone in any circumstance? She asked us to stop. Especially with those who live in our homes. Treat each other with kindness she begged us. It was obvious that this incident had dug a gouge in her soul. She was still feeling it as she spoke to us.

She continued. Nothing brings the spirit more quickly than kindness, and nothing drives it away more quickly than unkindness. Don’t let jealousy, contention or strife take over in our homes. We need to take the time to school our tongues. This is an archaic way of saying we need to think carefully before we speak, especially in anger or frustration, and especially in our homes.

Dad and I were struck silent by this talk. We made a commitment to each other at that moment to speak kindly, starting with each other. This will be hard for me. I tend to snipe at Dad on a regular basis. But, we are making this our new year's "matter to attend to"....