We BECOME what we want to be...

...by consistently being what we want to become each day. Elder Richard G. Scott.

I spent a weekend in Novemeber in Phoenix with my daughters and their friends.  It was a delightful day and a half.  The theme of the Women's conference we attended was...  Becoming.  Who am I becoming? 


DISCLAIMER:   I did not get every word or even every idea that was presented.  So I will give you what I did get and hope that triggers some ideas, thoughts, or changes for you.

On Friday evening Laurel Christiansen, Brad Wilcox and Macy Robison spoke.  (Macy Robison sang too, but we will skip that.)

The counsel given on Friday evening was to consider what we would like to change, improve or develop, and to discover our possibilities.  It is a process of discovery.    "To Him that Believeth"

Laurel Christiansen said that often things we do to "protect our faith" weakens our faith.  (Oh so true.  We must learn to not let fear make our decisions for us.)

She told us of an optimist experiment that she took on for herself.  She said that she discovered that things will work as we want them.  She quoted Elder Christopherson who said that "God is a God of high expectations."  and she quoted Moroni 7:20 and 25.  (Go ahead and read it.)  Hmmmm...    she told about how her life has not worked out as she planned.  And, she has felt that she has been faithful and prayed (doing all the right things) and still she did not have what she wanted.  She had a plan as a young woman.  Her plan A has not come to fruition and she feels like plan B, C, D, E.........   She is now working on plan K.  It has been frustrating and seemingly not fair.

She decided that she needed to focus on :  Pray with faith
                                                                 Think with faith
                                                                 Live with faith.

She also realized that she had developed some inaccuracies about her life.   (Don't we all!!!)

She then quoted Matthew 7:7-9 in the New Testament, and told us that she got a blessing.  In that blessing she was told "Your Father in Heaven wants to give you bread when you ask for bread."

MY NOTE:  I have found that we need to learn to pray specifically and straightforwardly.  Think through your worries, woes, trials, issues, passions, concerns, desires.  Go to the Lord with as much information, thoughts and ideas you can muster about any of them.  He will give you bread when you ask for bread.

3 Nephi 18:20
D&C 9:7-8

Laurel also said that "when you know that what you are praying for is right, it is easy to pray with faith."  (So true.  Once you realize that what you are trying to do is right and you pray for that, about that, the world will fall into place.)

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  You Learn by Living

Eleanor Roosevelt Quotes  (Check out this site for a BUNCH of great Eleanor Roosevelt quotes)  “Do one thing everyday that scares you.” (HA  Great Counsel!)

Enough for tonight.  I will continue this at a later date... soon.

I Have a Snake

Well, I don't really have a snake.  He lives in a little blue spruce bush by my patio.  This bush is between the patio and the walk, so I see him every time I walk down that path.  He is a pretty big garter snake- the biggest I have ever seen.  Yesterday he would not move.  I stood and watched him for a while, I walked by many times as I worked in the garden.  Then he changed position and I could see his entire body.  A wide spot in his middle revealed that he had recently eaten a small creature.... probably a mouse.  YAHOO.    He may stay in the garden. He has proven his usefulness.  Now, I wonder if he could eat that little rabbit that keeps hopping through the garden and chewing off all the flower heads.

SHE is Responsible for Her Home

In the grand scheme of things a woman is responsible for her home.  I know that might draw fire from all kinds of people and forums, but it is true.  A woman is the heart of any home.  That heart will show itself in a hundred different ways, with a hundred different results, but it is true.  I am not saying that a man cannot create a home, he can, but if there is a woman there, she creates the heart of it.  It does not matter if she is single, married, has children or not.  In all she does and does not do, she creates and maintains the spirit and atmosphere in her home.

There are some elements of a home that can be delegated by a woman and there are some elements that cannot.  An example of delegateable (a word?) elements: housekeeping and interior design.  Those parts of creating and maintaining a home may be delegated (in part or totally).  I remember a general authority of the church telling the story of a bishop or stake president counseling a man concerning his marriage.  The man loved his wife,  and acknowledged her accomplishments and talents freely.  But he could not get over the fact that she was a terrible housekeeper.  It was destroying their marriage.  The counsel of that Priesthood leader was HIRE A HOUSEKEEPER!!  I concur.  Because a woman is responsible for her home does not mean that she must do EVERYTHING related to that home any more than a CEO does every job in his company.

For me the killer was interior design.  When I first married I felt I had no design genes at all.  Jeff did.  He knew what looked great and what did not, and I relied on him. It worked.  In these later years I have gotten more sure of myself, or I have come to feel fine about what I like.  As a result, I chose  (in consultation with my man, Jeff) the colors, window treatments, and furniture for our new bedroom...  AND I love that room.  Our house is comfortable, warm and welcoming.  It pleases me greatly to walk in and sigh with contentment. It is always a good choice to learn from those we know have more skill than we do.

There are, however, elements of creating and maintaining a home that a woman cannot delegate.  Generally, when Dad wakes up grumpy, he goes to work grumpy.  OK.  But when Mom wakes up grumpy, by the time everyone leaves for work and school, everyone is grumpy.    If Mom comes home from work grumpy, by bath time, everyone is grumpy.  When she is nervous or on edge because of super stressors everyone is edgy, short tempered, and snippy.  Dad can run interference (thankfully) and help mitigate the consequences of grumpy, sad, worried, stressed Mom, but the underlying current is in her hands.  She must see it, deal with it, work through it and make life better for herself and everyone around her.  It is her responsibility to create and maintain a place that is safe from the world, a haven that welcomes the members of the family and those they invite in to share that haven.  Happily, she does not do this without resources.  There are plenty of how to books and blogs, and plenty of counsel from those have spiritual stewardship for her.  The scriptures and prayer will yield much in the way of guidance, and perfection is not necessary in this realm.  She learns as she crashes and burns, gets up and tries again... and again... and again...

Wonderfully, children and husbands are resilient and quick to forgive this woman they love SO MUCH.  So each time she has to correct her course of action, they are right there, ready for the next step.  They settle into the new positive course as quickly as she makes the turn.  They are happy when she is happy. 

ALSO,  the other side is true as well.  When Mom is happy, positive, and content so is her family.  She sends them out with her attitude, her outlook, her perspective.  They go about their day with her blessing and influence enveloping them.  So often good days can be traced back to Mom and the last thing she said or did before the children left the house.

I am not saying Dad has no influence, he does.  Children watch him, mimic him, cry for him, love every moment he is home.  But, the home is Mom's responsibility.  It is her realm.  She will answer to the Lord for how she handled that responsibility when she stands before Him after death.  She does not need to be perfect (children need difficulties to learn to deal with the world, and home is the perfect place to get them). She does not need to be the perfect cook, housekeeper, homework monitor, laundry lady or interior designer.  She needs to be a problem solver, a prayer, a forgiver, a teacher, and she needs to love her family above all else.  It is a wise plan.  It is a plan that brings satisfaction and joy to all involved. 

Simple is not Stupid

Today the Amish of the Sugar Valley Produce Auction held their first annual consignment auction. There has been excitement for days, and people have been unloading items all week.  They had everything from old rims and dressers (ours) to Amish made quilts.  The one I did not bid on, sadly, looked much like the one in this picture.  Next year I will bid on everything I like.  This quilt went for 175.00 and I am so sad it is not now on my guest room bed.  *sigh*

I was amazed at the organization and coordinated effort that made this event possible.   There are 53 families who operate the produce auction, and those same families ran the auction today. They had Amish barbecued chicken, homemade pies and cookies, huge hoagie sandwiches and all kinds of stuff to drink and snack on.  They had 3 Amish auctioneers working simultaneously.  Each auctioneer had his own style and sound.  The man who was auctioning the quilts had great comments to make about each quilt and quilt top that was sold.  From comments about wild colors (??) and which ones would look good in an all white room.  The man who was auctioning the farm equipment, windows and screen doors was singing his auction.  I had to stand and listen for some time to appreciate his rhythm and lilt. 

It was a delightful morning/day.  Jeff is still there watching for the sale of a plow to pull behind the 4 wheeler and a LARGE dog cage for Kona.  Spring really is here today.