Fasting regularly

I learned about fasting in a religious and spiritual context.  

As the child of parents who were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I learned about fasting early. I learned that at the age of 8 or so, my siblings and I could miss breakfast on the first Sunday of the month while concentrating on prayer and spiritual things. (At the time it was more about feeling hungry and less about prayer and spiritual things.)  We saw that our parents skipped two meals that day and then donated money to the Fast Offering Fund of the church to be used to care for the poor.  

As I grew, I, too, learned to skip two meals on Fast Sunday and to pray for my own needs and the needs of those I cared about.  As an adult I, too, donate to the Fast Offering Fund in order to help care for those who have less than I do.  I try to be generous when donating to this fund, recognizing that my generosity will better help those who need help, and that it will help me to make a sacrifice that is enough to make me think. A sacrifice that causes me to pause when I contribute helps me feel my contribution, just as missing two meals and feeling hungry helps me feel for a moment what those who are poor feel on a regular basis.

I grew up in a family of small means.  As a child I did not feel poor, but I knew our resources were limited, and that my Mom worked hard to make little stretch into sufficient and, at times, plenty.  I knew that Christmas and birthdays came from Goodwill and flea markets. (Back then it was not chic to shop in such places.)   My siblings and I helped Mom glean the orchards and berry patches after the farmers had finished their harvest.  I learned to make bread and can fruit and vegetables at my mother's elbow.  All the time I thought it was just what moms taught their children.  As an adult I realize that my mother was providing during times of limited means.  In spite of limited means, my parents taught my siblings and I to fast and to contribute to the Fast Offering Fund as our means and faith permit.  

Fasting will never be a means to improve my physical self, or to cleanse in preparation of improving my eating habits.  Fasting will always be a means of righting myself before the Lord, an opportunity to cleanse my spirit in preparation of asking for the blessings of God to be poured out on me and those I love.  Fasting is opportunity to lend my faith to those whose need is greater than mine at that moment, and who I can help as they search, struggle, and work out elements of their life that need support, direction, and personal revelation.  And, when combined with contributing to the Fast Offering Fund, it provides for me a marvelous experience on a regular basis.

A post script to the transplant

Can Ye Feel So Now?

 Alma 5... In the Book of Mormon

 The Grand PPI (personal priesthood interview) or inventory.  Alma, one of many great priesthood leaders, provides the questions for us to inventory our spiritual standing before God.  This is not a chapter to be read quickly or lightly.  It requires a degree of introspection and self evaluation.

I counted 38 questions in this chapter.

In verse 26, Ama asks

 And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, ... if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?

There have been times in my life that I have answered a resounding NOOOOO to this question. Sometimes that answer has included a foot stomp and shake of the fist.

This assignment to speak has given me a moment, many moments in the last couple of weeks to ask   Why?  

I didn't have to look very far to have plenty to examine.  

Satan is insidious. He watches carefully for those moments when we are weak, sad, angry, frustrated, confused, hurt, unsure, insecure, inadequate, worried, frightened. When we encounter hardship,  it can be difficult to sing the song of redeeming love, but it is when we need it most.  

This has been quite a year for my family.  It been long and difficult. On Oct 16 last year my husband found a lump in his neck that turned out to be a very aggressive lymphoma.  This was not an entirely new experience for us, he had dealt with this very same cancer 8 years ago.   This time it came from WAY left field because we had been told that if it didn't come back in two years or so, that it wouldn't.  It is too aggressive to hang around waiting to pounce.  

The first time we dealt with this I never flinched, never worried about the outcome.   Jeff had receive several blessings that promised him a long life.  I knew we just had to get through it.  There were some who told me I was in denial, that I needed to deal with his very probable death. I knew that would not happen.  It didn't.

However, From the very beginning last October, there were no promises of a long life, of sure recovery.  This time his blessings spoke of eternal families.  Missions to be filled on this and the other side of the veil.  I was more than a little nervous.  I wasn't ready for this.  We were too young.  We had been called on a mission to serve in the Philippines.  It was one that we would do together and do well.  We were excited.  We were learning Tagalog.  

But our lives changed in a moment.  Now,  I had responsibilities and my husband's life depended on me meeting those responsibilities and not faltering.  Worst of all some of those were responsibilities were ones I knew I was not going to like. (I was not his primary care giver when he got his first bone marrow transplant 8 years ago.  Our daughter was and she did a great job... I  only relieved her on weekends),  and then I learned this was going to be a more difficult process this time.  The responsibilities involved ports, medicines, needles, hospitals, Drs waiting rooms, watching every thing he ate, watching for scary signs of rejection, illness, infection...  Even after 10 months, I get queasy thinking about it.  (I can hear my youngest daughter saying, "really, Mom."  as she rolls her eyes.  

I must admit those responsibilities were not met cheerfully...  I was grumpy.  

I was worried

I was unsure,

I felt inadequate

I was sad

I was scared

I was angry..... 

We were giving up a Mission...  for cancer....  It was the worst.

Also, this time around  because We were not promised he would live, we had to find that place that Elder Bednar spoke of a couple of years ago...  "The faith to not be healed."  The faith to allow the Lord to do with us what he would.  And  I became aware that this experience was not just our, it was our children's.  They were just as scared,  wanting to see the eternal nature of families, but nearly being swallowed by this earthly experience.  

I like knowing where I am headed.  I love a good plan.  I love implementing a plan and seeing it all come together.  Here I had no plans beyond Hopkins, needles and doctors.  I was grumpy, and grumpy interferes.

How could I  get back to the place where I could again "sing the song of redeeming love.?"  even hear that song?

There were things that interfered with my ability to hear the Lord ,  but there were things that kept me close .  Things that fed my soul and kept me close to that song of redeeming love, even when I could not really hear it or sing it myself.  Things that I see more clearly now.

It started with 40 days and 40 nights of the Book of Mormon with a friend that turned into a year of making our way through the Book of Mormon, then the New Testament, Doctrine and Covenants, The Pearl of Great Price, and finally the marathon that is the Old Testament.

I had never in my life done that before.  long distance, we made our way through... Emails, texts....  Ideas, thoughts, quotes that made me think, that touched me....even some that made me laugh.  But the commitment we had made to each other to keep at it,  kept me close to the scriptures, and to her, a strong woman of God who loves the gospel and who loves me.  She and the scriptures fed my soul.

A faithful visiting teacher and home teacher.  When we were in Baltimore for months, we got regular phone calls from both, and when we were home they were there.  It hasn't changed.   They find ways to work around our schedule, they keep in close contact even when we are away.  We didn't NEED anyTHING...  We needed the consistent contact, the regular messages, the expressed love and concern.

I realized I was surrounded with good people who love the Lord and choose to stay close to Him.  I have learned that in addition to our VT and HT, our branch president and fellow members have agonized their way through this experience along with us.  Every set back, every bit of good news, they shared with us. 

In addition to our branch, our community has fed my soul.  We live in Sugar Valley, quite possibly the most lovely place on earth.  It is filled with faithful men and women of God who have watched over us without being overbearing, loved us without reservation, prayed for us in their churches and families, checked on us regularly, respected our privacy when we just couldn't talk to another person. 

Sugar Valley Quilters feed my soul,  women who seek to serve the less fortunate in our community by making quilts for them.  They  consistently invite me to show up and bring my machine.  I've missed many sewing dates with them this year, but when I am there, they feed my soul with their love for their fellow man.  I am one of them no matter how long I have been away.  I love being able to bend over my machine sewing working on whatever simple or intricate pattern they tell me to sew, listening to their banter, laughter, babies crawling around on the floor, grandmothers giving advice and instruction.  The hours fly by and I am so glad to be with them.  They, then, take those quilts and give them to those whose need is so great it seems to be unbearable.  And my soul is fed.  

My calling and The women I serve with feed my soul.  What a marvel that we are allowed to serve the Lord in callings in this church.  We don't seek them, but we take them on when called to do so.   I work with women who continue to amaze me, who keep track of me, who implement the details of these grand ideas that pop out of our heads and into our presidency meetings.  I have had many experiences of working with such women in a variety of callings, and they have all fed my soul.  Women of God are the most amazing creatures on earth...

Our Women's conference this last month fed my soul.  The teachers, speakers, fellowship, love.  All that day, the hymn "As Sisters in Zion" rattled around in my head.  And many souls were fed.

Priesthood blessings from men who hold the priesthood and who love us enough to cry with us, pray with us, and then place their hands on our heads and tell us what the Lord wants us to know so that we can proceed through hardship knowing what the Lord wants us to know and do...  fed my soul this year, and continues to do so.  

The temple has fed my soul....

Sister Neil Marriott of the General YW presidency states...

The scriptures teach, “That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light.”4 We must continue in God, as the scripture says. We must go to the source of light--to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the scriptures. We can also go to the temple, knowing that all things within its walls point to Christ and His great atoning sacrifice.

A Show Low AZ,stake president's wife, speaking at a ward Young Women in Excellence last week, said, "Go to the temple.  In the temple we can be who we really are, we can see ourselves as we really are and how Heavenly Father sees us and knows us.  

Finally, Our children feed my soul.  I am learning through them about eternal families.  They are more than families who exist together forever.  They are families who in spite of all the dysfunctions of this world continue to function.

Our children have made sacrifices of time, energy, money.  Mothers and fathers In law  were willing to go and stay with the grand babies and their sons/daughters so that our son and daughters could spend precious time with their Dad while he struggled to recover in the early days after the transplant, and who made me laugh at my grumpy self as we power walked the streets of Baltimore together. Husbands and wives of our children rearranged their lives (including birthing a baby on schedule) so that our children could be our support,   all three willing to offer their life's blood to heal their father.  And the one who finally was chosen to do so, flying in and out of Baltimore from AZ for tests and more tests, and finally flying home after donating his bone marrow in much more pain than he had any idea would be involved.  They have shown me that our family is patterned after Heavenly Father's Family, is part of His family.

These elements of my life fed my soul this year so that I could grumpily make my way through until I could drop the grumpy long enough to again hear and sing that song of redeeming love on my own. We are both healing. Jeff, physically, and me spiritually.  Because of the atonement, and access to opportunities to feed our souls, we can heal  repeatedly throughout our lives as we need to.

Often the burdens we carry are heavy.  Often we hang onto them all by ourselves much longer than we need to.  There are times that we cry out out,  I cannot do this, I cannot hear the song,  let alone sing this song of redeeming love!  

But we can.  The gospel is designed to be our  support, our teacher.  We go through hardships, and we learn, we grow, we are stretched beyond our small capacity in order to, one day, be worthy and able to live a celestial life with our families and our God.  And we never go through them alone.  Even when we think we are alone, we aren't.  Our mortal experience was not planned for us to be alone.  I  testify that the atonement is real, that the Savior made it possible for us to learn and even relearn when necessary, to repent, to grow so that we can and become better and more than we think we can.  

I love Isaiah.  In chapter 58 vs 11  he explains, "And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought.... and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.”

The Savior is that water.  

I have enjoyed reading and seeing all the General Conference experiences posted on Facebook. Many years ago when I was in HS and we lived in AZ, conference was not quite this available. But, my Mom found a way around it. We got Sunday morning session on TV and it was turned on and up LOUD on the only TV in the house. She did not care if we were trying to sleep late after a Saturday night out, we were listening to conference.

Saturday was chore day at our house and NOTHING interfered with that. But, Mom would find conference on the radio and just like on Sunday with the TV, she turned it on and up on every radio in the house. Unlike the TV we had a radio in almost every room back then. (Did I just say "back then".... YIKES) So, it didn't matter what my chores were, I heard conference. 

I took listening to general authorities with me when I went away to school, and when I went on my mission. Back then we had to order talks on tape, and they were not readily available. So we listened and re-listened to the ones we acquired. I still love listening to conference.

I learned to love the voices of President Kimball (loved him as if he were my very own), President Faust, Elder McConkie (my fave), Elder Maxwell, (my other fave), Elder Hales, and Elder L. Tom Perry. (Elder Perry just did not seem right without the L. Tom in front of it.) Watching him this weekend brought tears to my eyes.

I have never ironed a white shirt or a Sunday skirt in the last 45 years without thinking of listening to conference on a Saturday with the radios blaring General Conference.

Thanks Mom

A Current Topic that Has Caused Quite a Stir

I was asked to speak in Church on the Topic of the Priesthood.  What follows here is what I said there.  There have been many who have spoken more eloquently on the topic, but I feel strongly about it.  Feel free to google my sources.   They are authorities on the matter.    

The Priesthood June 15, 2014

Many years ago there was a game called Celestial Pursuit, based on the popular board game Trivial Pursuit.  Like Trivial Pursuit, this game was all about answering questions related to a variety of gospel topics, and moving your marker to the spot on the board designated as the winning circle.  Unlike Trivial Pursuit or any other board game Celestial Pursuit was not about competing against the other players, but making sure that all players (family members) made it to the winning circle together.  Great  concept, but never wildly popular.  

When asked to speak today on the Priesthood, that game popped into my head.  Our pursuit of Celestial Glory is not a competition; it is a pursuit that requires us to develop strong family relationships, seek out our ancestors, engage in covenants that require Priesthood authority, and work out our own salvation. - all the time remaining cognizant of family ties and relationship.  Because family and family connections will endure into the eternities.

This topic, the Priesthood, should not be confined to the occasional sacrament meeting talk.  We need to  explore and discuss this in our classes, family home evenings, in those marvelous discussions that pop up at dinner, in our family and personal study time, when we meditate and ponder on our own.  Our progression as a church and as individuals depends on it.  It is a deep and wide principle of the gospel - a cursory study will never be enough.

I will tell you up front that I love that we have access to the Priesthood of God.  I am grateful for faithful men who work hard to honor and use that Priesthood to care for their families, carry out service to others outside their families, and fulfill church responsibilities that often weigh heavily on them.  

In preparing for this morning, I turned to the voices/writings of men and women of God who have spoken about the Priesthood in recent conferences and devotionals, forums where they could teach correct gospel principles to all who are willing to listen.  

Let me just say that in each of the works I will reference the speaker/writer clearly states that it is the responsibility of each of us to study and learn for ourselves the principles of this magnificent blessing.    WHY?   The process of learning to receive revelation, being taught through the Spirit are as essential to our well being and eternal progression as what we learn when we study.  

I would encourage you to do just that.  I hope I will say something today that will be of use to you.  I hope that you will have the desire to explore in order to expand on what you hear... Do that by going to the library of scripture, conference reports, devotionals and articles shared by the Lord's appointed men and women.  Then go to The Lord yourself, using prayer, pondering and meditation to be taught of Him, through the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  And what a gift it is to have the Holy Ghost to guide our study, our progression.  I would admonish you to use it well....  Let the Spirit guide you in your pursuit of gospel knowledge.  There are many who would mislead you, tell you that you are wrong, that the Apostles and Prophet are wrong.... or mistaken, too old, too out of touch with the realities of this world....  Satan is behind all that.  The end result of all that will be our own stunted growth.  

If instead you listen to the Spirit as you study, your life will change.  As promised in D&C 121, 

"thy confidence shall wax strong, and the doctrine of the Priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

I used four talks to prepare my remarks today.  I want you to know that each speaker admonished the reader to search out, study prayerfully and learn the breadth, depth and scope of the Priesthood.  

Those talks are:  

 Priesthood Power in the Home by Boyd K. Packer (President of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles

The Keys and Authority of the Priesthood by Dallin Oaks, an Apostle of God

Priesthood:  A Sacred Trust by Linda K Burton, Gen. RS President

Blessings of the Priesthood for All by Sharon and Cecil Samuelson, 12th President of BYU and his wife.  

I will tell you I did not dig very deep to find these talks, and they are just four of MANY that I found.  We live in a blessed time.  A time where research is at our fingertips.  Not at all like the research I did years ago in college, when I sat for hours in dusty university basements thumbing through piles of periodicals and books.  And church research was limited to whatever I had on my own bookshelves or under the bed, or on the bedside table.  I feel like I'm living the dream...  Anything I want to read, learn about, discover... is at my fingertips. It is at all our fingertips.  Use it.

To start:  President Packer states, "To imagine putting together a church where the authority of the Priesthood was to be given to every worthy adult male would seem like a very reckless, dangerous thing, but that is the way it is....  We are never afraid of the progress of the Church, because we know that there will come by conversion and baptism a little group of brethren upon whom the fullness of the priesthood can be conferred....  The priesthood is not delegated out and parceled a little here and a little there.  It is given all at once."  COMMENT:  God is not stingy.  He trusts us.  He wants us to grow, be more than we are now.  

The Priesthood is the consummate power on this earth.  It is a portion of the power of God.  Here.  For Us.  This is not a trifling matter.  It is of utmost importance to all of us.  It is not ours to bargain over, wish it were different, feel slighted by, or worry why it is not doled out differently, or used more to our liking.  It is the power of God.  

God is a Practical Being.  His church is a practical organization.  There is a division of labor that is divinely decreed.  It has purpose and meaning.  Men and women are called to responsibilities that are important... necessary to the work of God.  However, those callings are temporary.  All of us will be released from our various callings.  On the other hand Priesthood responsibilities are not temporary.   Family responsibilities are not temporary.  They are eternal.  

A little side note from Elder Oaks:  There is no up or down in church service.  there is only forward or backward, and that difference depends on how we accept and act upon our callings and our releases.  The Priesthood is part of that - There are those who carry heavy responsibilities in their callings.  But all holders of the Priesthood can access the same power to bless those around them. 

President Packer tells us, "The Church is made up of families.  We talk about the organization and how many wards and stakes we have, and they are incidental and temporary.  when we talk about how many families we have, then we will see real growth in the church."  I think he is not speaking of numbers here.  He is speaking of real growth....  in spiritual stature, family ties and  strength.  They are the real indicators of our progress.

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At this time there is much discussion on the internet about the Priesthood of God and the role of women.  Elder Oaks addressed this issue quite well in our most recent general conference.  I recommend this to you for your own study.  

Let me share with you some of his comments. 

"Priesthood power blesses all of us.  Priesthood keys direct women as well as men, and priesthood ordinances and priesthood authority pertain to women as well as men...  "

"The Priesthood is the power by which we will be resurrected and proceed to eternal life."

He quotes Elder Ballard...  "Those who have priesthood keys... literally make it possible for all who serve faithfully under their direction to exercise priesthood authority and have access to priesthood power."

"Even though presiding authorities hold and exercise all of the keys delegated to men in this dispensation, they are not free to alter the divinely decreed pattern that only  men will hold offices in the priesthood."

It has been decreed that a man cannot fully exercise the power of the Priesthood without a woman, just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man.  Both of these powers are shared.  Both are essential.

Now, women and the Priesthood?

Elder Oaks explains that "with the exception of the sacred work that sister do in the temple under the keys held by the temple president, only one who holds a priesthood office can officiate in a priesthood ordinance."  

Then he goes on, quoting President Joseph Fielding Smith, "While the sisters have not been given the Priesthood, it has not been conferred upon them, that does not mean that The Lord has not given unto them authority...   A person may have authority given to him, or a sister to her, to do certain things in the Church that are binding and absolutely necessary for our salvation, such as the work that our sister s do in the House of The Lord.  They have authority given unto them to do some great and wonderful things, sacred unto The Lord, and binding just as thoroughly as are the blessings that are given by the men who hold the Priesthood."

But, thankfully, President Smith does not leave it there, and Elder Oaks provides the rest of President Smith's  instruction to the sisters of the Relief Society.  "you can speak with authority, because The Lord has placed authority upon you...."  He went on, "Relief Society has been given power and authority to do a great many things...... The work which they do is done  by divine authority."

Of course all Church work done by men and women is done under the direction of those who hold priesthood keys. And President Smith explains, "The Lord has given them this great organization where they have authority to serve under the direction of the bishops of the wards, looking after the interest of our people both spiritually and temporally."

 

And I will add that those who serve in such callings deserve and need our support and our willingness to serve. 

Let me say here that sometimes I hear women say "Women need to be more involved in the decision making processes of the Church.  I have even laughed and nodded when someone says, 'You can tell a woman was not involved in that decision.'  I have seen the shake of the head and the comment, 'what were they thinking?'  I have said that.  I think the last time I actually heard that it was in reference to the outdated decor of the Logan temple.

But, the implication is that men cannot make important decisions without the input of women.  or that, in order to be equal and fair, women must be involved in every decision .  NO.  Not because female input is not important and even necessary.  It is.  But, The Lord will see to it that his work is accomplished.  It is most important that we learn to receive revelation, act on impressions, care for those in need, cultivate feelings of kindness for even the unloveable...  Contribute to the Lord's work in a positive way. (I'm speaking to men and women here.)  That means not belittling what our leaders do, but contributing to the discussion as solutions are sought to a variety of problems.  

I remember a former stake president telling my husband that as a high councilman he had a responsibility to open his mouth, to contribute to the discussion, to provide counsel when asked for it.  That he should not sit idly by in meetings and watch.  That is good counsel for all of us.  But the other side of it is that when our Priesthood leaders make decisions, ask for our help, issue calls to serve and make assignments that we answer, "Yes".... not half heartedly but whole heartedly and then SERVE.

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I love working with men who hold the Priesthood and who are actively engaged in carrying out their responsibilities to God and their families.  When I do, I feel safe.  I know that the work is in good hands.  I know that the work of God is moving forward.  I'm speaking of bishops and branch presidents, men of the stake who work with the auxiliaries, my husband and my son and sons in law.  Our faithful home teacher.  Often the Spirit confirms to me that this is the organization of God.  Not just the church, but the organization of our families as well.

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In the talks I read the comment was oft made that the world at large knows nothing about the Priesthood of God, and that members of the church have just scratched the surface of this great power and responsibility.  so true.

These general authorities are happy that so many questions are being asked.  It provides opportunities to teach.  (Actually that might have been Pres. Packer...  He is the consummate teacher.)  

Sister Burton explained, "We rejoice that we are privileged to live in this season of the history of the Church when questions are being asked about the Priesthood.  There is great interest and desire to know and understand more about the authority, power and blessings associated with the Priesthood of God. It is our hope that the "doctrine of the priesthood... (may) distill upon our souls as the dews from heaven."  We hope to instill within each of us a greater desire to better understand the Priesthood.  It is imperative for us to understand how The Lord accomplishes His work so that we may receive the power that comes from being aligned with His plan and purposes."

She goes on to explain that we need to invite the power of the priesthood into our homes to bless and strengthen our families and our individual lives.

She sees all of the current conversations about the Priesthood as a wakeup call and an invitation to all of us to study, ponder and come to better understand the priesthood.  We cannot teach those things we do not understand and know for ourselves.

What should we be studying?

What is the Priesthood?  It is the power of God on the earth, but it is much more.  It is that power by which the world was made, by which we will be resurrected, by which families are sealed.

Why does man have it?   (Like Elder Packer said... seems like that could be a little dangerous.)

What is the difference between the Aaronic Priesthood and the Melchizedek Priesthood? 

How did they come to us in this dispensation?

When, how and why were they first given to men?

What are the keys of the priesthood?  Who has them?

What is the power of the priesthood?   Who has access?

The more we know, the more we grow.  (Isn't that a phrase from Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers... I date myself there)    but it is true.  

Again, let me give you a few highlight from Sister Burton and encourage you to exercise your agency and learn for yourselves.

"Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally."  She was actually quoting Elder Nelson there.   Doesn't that quote put a new spin on family history, FHE, temples?  

"Nothing about the Priesthood is self-centered.  The Priesthood is always used to serve, to bless and to strengthen other people."   The Savior here is our role model.  

"Men are not the priesthood.  they are holders of the Priesthood."  I will say...  That lone thought should trigger some ideas about how men should act and women should treat men, and how children should be taught about the Priesthood.  

"Priesthood keys unlock the door to the power of God."

"Jesus Christ holds all the keys of the Priesthood pertaining to his Church.  He has conferred upon his apostles all the keys that pertain to the kingdom of God on earth.  The Prophet delegates priesthood keys to other priesthood leaders so they can preside in their areas of responsibility."  To all our benefit.

Before I close, I will say.  Women are often counseled about the influence they have on the young men and not so young men who hold these priesthood responsibilities.  Do not dismiss or belittle that influence.  Sister Burton identifies that influence as a complementary gift to the priesthood power.  She quotes Pres. Howard W. Hunter...  "minister with your powerful influence for good in strengthening our families, our church and our communities.

She goes on to tell a story about a man who had cancer.  His wife had called the stake president and asked him to come and provide a blessing.  As he arrived the Dr. told the wife she needed to prepare herself for her husband's death.  The stake president described this sister as pounding the doctor's chest with her fists, emphatically saying no.  Telling the Dr. that her husband would be healed.  My stake president is here to give him a blessing and he will be healed.  She knew that the power of the priesthood, used by a faithful holder of that priesthood could and would heal her husband.  

Sister Burton poses the question,  Was it the blessing?  the priesthood holder?  or the faith and influence of this righteous woman?  She believes and I agree... It is all three.  This is how the Priesthood of God functions:  authority, power and influence. 

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Can this Priesthood authority be misused?  Of course.  But The Lord has promised he will not allow us to be led astray, or his work to be thwarted.  When we get caught in the mire of thinking God should be doing things differently, that his Prophet and Apostles should be more in the mainstream, or that our local Priesthood leaders should be more progressive we are not hastening the work.  We are damning our own growth and interfering with the Lord's work.  Are these men perfect?  No.  Perfect and righteous are not the same.  

Sisters, we can choose to feel slighted instead of engaging in this great work.  But if we do we are not acting on all the information we have available to us.  We can choose to think men are more honored in this church than women;  if we do we are not seeing the whole picture.  We are limiting our view of what is available to us.  We can choose to say we don't understand why "the Priesthood" does this or that.  When we do we are choosing our own lack of understanding.  Don't do that.  We will be left behind.

I thought I would write my way thorugh this experience.

I really did.   But I have not done so.  I have had moments when the words flowed through my brain.  I knew that if I could sit down at a keyboard I could put on the screen exactly what was happening and exactly how I felt,  but that did not happen.  Either there was no keyboard in sight, or when i opened my tablet there was Facebook or the USA Today crossword puzzle and I took a detour.  Nothing has been recorded.

The possibilities are still there. Every day I tell myself that this will be the day that I write.  This will be the day that I begin to record the process of this experience.  This will be the day that all I know and think and feel about cancer will be out there for the world to see.  

Maybe...