I Hate the Tee Bar

I am afraid of skiing.  The first trip every year is the same. My heart starts pounding when we drive into the parking lot.  By the time I am on the chair lift my mouth is dry and my palms are sweaty.  On Thursday I had the same experience.  Then I found that the chair lift was closed and I had to ride the Tee Bar lift. Great!! I am worse on the Tee Bar than on the chair lift.  I was able to attach myself to the Tee Bar and start up the mountain.  I did not fall down. I was pleased and feeling comfortable.   I made it to the top and started to move away from the lift.  Then I got my coat caught on the cross bar of the Tee Bar and found myself being dragged on the snow headed back down the mountain.

I panicked. And screamed JEFF!  What could he do?  He was on the Tee Bar behind me.  As I was headed for the down side of the mountain, I managed to get the bottom of my coat removed from Tee Bar and there I lay on the snow with Jeff, on the Tee Bar, headed right for me.  This was just not looking good. 

I tried to scoot out of the way.  No luck.  As Jeff came next to me, I reached out my pole and he pulled me up.  It was over and we skied on our way.   It was a great day.

"Adversity is like a strong wind.  I don't mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go.  It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be." 

--Sayuri of Memoir of a Geisha 

What does adversity reveal about you?

The Things That Matter Most

In Luke chapter 11, Jesus went to a certain village and a woman named Martha received him into her house. She had a sister called Mary, which sat at Jesus' feet and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered (hindered troubled, overloaded, burdened) about much serving ,and came to him and said, Lord dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, thou are careful (worried) and troubled about many things. But one thing is needful and Martha hath chosen that good part...

In Oct Conference Pres Uchtdorf addressed the things that matter most. His counsel emphasized that we need to slow down, because attending to the things that matter most takes quiet time, a slower pace.

“When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.” We think somehow that if we work harder things will get better. It does not work that way. The difficult parts of this life are not meant to be circumvented. They are meant to be dealt with, worked through and learned from. If we are putting our head down and plowing through without stopping to see, listen and learn, we miss much in this life.

Elijah taught a great lesson in 1 King chap 19. He was on Jezebel's most wanted list. He was living in a cave. His prayer to the Lord was “the people have forsaken their covenants, thrown down thine alters and slain thy prophets... I am the only one left.” The Lord told him to “go forth and stand upon the mount...” and the scriptures say “The Lord passed by.  A great and strong wind rent the mountains, breaking the rocks, but the Lord was not in the wind. Then there was an earthquake but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire, but he was not there. After the fire a still small voice. "And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entering of the cave. THEN there came a voice unto him and said, What doest thou here Elijah?” Elijah repeated his concern, and THEN the Lord gave him direction... It might be repetitive, but I am going to say the Lord asked him to repeat his concerns when he (Elijah) was quiet and listening to the still small voice.

The plan of salvation is simple and plain, with enough depth to address the most complex matters and simple enough to, if sought, will simplify our lives so that we can find joy in this life no matter what our situation. Don't be lured away by the sophisticated world.... There is no peace there. Peace comes as we seek the gospel, and listen for quiet direction and reassurance. Sometimes we are already headed in the right direction. We just need to stop, listen, appreciate the peace and quiet.

Another caution: Pres Uchdorf said---

“It is said that any virtue when taken to an extreme can become a vice. Overscheduling our days would certainly qualify for this. There comes a point where milestones can become millstones and ambitions, albatrosses around our necks. “

The solution in our lives:

“develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.” Those two things MATTER MOST

“The search for the best things inevitably leads to the foundational principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ—the simple and beautiful truths revealed to us by a caring, eternal, and all-knowing Father in Heaven. These core doctrines and principles, though simple enough for a child to understand, provide the answers to the most complex questions of life.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.”

AND I would add. Don't be afraid to take life step by step. That is living by faith. Trust the answers you have been given.... Trust that as you follow through on inspiration/revelation you will be given the next piece when it is time. Live your life as you are in the middle of it. I like to be in control. I like to know where I am headed. When we put our house in MD on the market 7 years ago, I only knew we were doing the right thing. I could not get a vision of what was coming next. I was more than a little irritated. I wanted a long term view of what was coming. It never happened. For the first time in my adult life, I could not see where I was going. I could not see down the road. But, as I look back now and see what has come about in the last 6 or so years, I am not disappointed. It is ok to not know the distance. It is important to trust that the Lord knows what he is doing. That is the process of turning toward our Father in Heaven, and “turning our ways to His ways is the beginning of our wisdom. “

“I think most of us intuitively understand how important the fundamentals are. It is just that we sometimes get distracted by so many things that seem more enticing. “ or I would add more pressing things. Like Martha we are cumbered about.... too busy with our lives to slow down. But it is a trick, and illusion that busy is productive or busy is successful. Slowing down and listening is vital.

Pres Uchdorf...

“The holy scriptures and the spoken word of the living prophets give emphasis to the fundamental principles and doctrines of the gospel. The reason we return to these foundational principles, to the pure doctrines, is because they are the gateway to truths of profound meaning. They are the door to experiences of sublime importance that would otherwise be beyond our capacity to comprehend.

“we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most.

So what are the things that matter most?

The things that matter most are our relationships with our God, with our families, with our fellowman, and with ourselves.

The psalmist tells us to Be still, and know that I am God: but being still brings us more than just knowing that God is God. It takes us from the world and its distractions to a place that we can come to understand with clarity the principles of the gospel. A place where we can see clearly what is most important.

The only way to focus on the things that matter most is to slow down. The Spirit cannot be rushed... Don't get me wrong, There are moments when we need revelation, inspiration, spiritual assistance in a flash... And it is available to us. But there is more to life than getting from crisis to crisis. Joseph Smith said that we as Latter Day Saints live far below our privileges.. That counsel has been repeated often in recent years. We do that because instead of taking time to listen to the Lord we continue to rush about putting out fires, and thinking we know best.

We do not know what is best. Heavenly Father does. If we can learn to slow down, stop hurrying through our trials will our heads bent, we will live up to our spiritual privileges. Our life will be much more than we can see at any given moment.

She just wanted to be a mother...

She was left alone at 14. Her father died and her mother moved away to be a nanny. She was shy, painfully shy. She would be so all her life. At 18, after getting through high school, she met her husband. He was everything she was not. Loud, outspoken, brazen, would say anything to anyone. For him it was love at first sight. For her, I don't know. She never told me.

He was warned by his brother. He could never hurt her or he would answer to his brother. He tried his whole life to keep that promise. It was broken, without doubt. We cannot live for 40+ years with someone and not hurt them. It is not possible. But he tried. She made no such promise to anyone. She hurt him too.

All her life she wanted to be a mother. All her life. She saw a good life ahead with her strong, wild and slightly crazy man. She loved him. He was everything she was not and she had hope. Then a few months later her first baby was born too early. She died two days later. It was devastating. The family gathered as was the tradition of her world. A tiny casket was built. Food was prepared. A funeral was held. She mourned. Almost 1 ½ years later a boy was born. But, it was not what she expected. He could not nurse. She bottle fed him and mourned that she could not nurse. 15 months later another boy was born. He was early too, but not as early as her little girl and he survived. Again, he could not nurse and she mourned again. She did not nurse any of her children. She could not produce enough milk to nourish them. Was it her fault? Could she have done something different? Relaxed? Ate something different that would help her produce enough milk? It will never be known. It just wasn't.

1 ½ years later another girl was born and she rejoiced. But this one was always sick. Colds, ear infections, pneumonia... and that was in the first year. The doctor warned her that if she relaxed her vigilance the baby could die. Now she had two toddlers (boys) and a VERY sick baby. As this baby grew things did not get better. She watched her as a three year old hallucinate from high fevers as she lay in a dark room with measles and a year later had the same experience with a severe case of mumps. By this time she had another baby girl. It was hard. So hard. It was almost more than she could manage. There was no place to find relief.

In her world men did not do housework, they did not take care of babies, they worked. Her husband worked long, hard, physical hours in construction. They moved. At first there was family. Her sister and her family were close and her sister's children loved her children. But then they moved away from family. It was harder and she was alone.

Then her mother came to stay and there was relief. Mother knew children, knew cooking, knew cleaning, knew how to make it on not quite enough. She was there for several weeks or months at a time depending on the year, and it was always such a relief to have her there. They quilted together, sewed together and it was nice to able to go places without taking EVERYONE with her all the time.

A few years later another tragedy. Her husband got sick... and did not get well... for the rest of his life. Everything changed then. Everything.                

to be continued....